Saturday, August 23, 2014

Letter from Ron Burgundy

December 2014, on  Facebook I wrote my opinion about Anchorman 2. Posted a status as I was leaving the movie theater. In January I received the following letter from a R. Burgundy; Hollywood, CA,USA.


Dear Christine Von Tinkerbell,
It has come to my attention that perhaps you did not enjoy the showing of my latest theatrical production, Anchorman 2.  If your comment of "worst movie ever" had some other meaning, then allow me to apologize for interrupting your day and wasting even one precioius second of time that you could be used to slander some other poor unfortunate with your uninformed and mundane opinions.

Are you sure that you saw the movie?  Were you overtired and perhaps slept through this neo-classic work of art?  Were you medicated when you saw it?  Hit on the head with a rock? Inebriated? Any explanation will do.

I think perhaps that you have missed the entire point of the movie.  It is so deep on so many levels that it could have taken place in a mine shaft.  We tried that but its kind of cramped.

Did you miss the part where I lost my job?  Remember that this movie was set in the 80's.  Corporate upheaval was in its infancy, and millions of people over the years have been displaced by any manner of corporate restructuring.  Our brilliant movie depicted the angst and upheaval that many corporate Americans have lived through over the years.  We accurately portrayed the titanic struggles that people have gone through to re-invent themselves and find new and productive lives.  It brings tears to my eyes to think of how people have fought back against all odds and re-established themselves as contributing citizens.

Did you miss the part where I lost my family?  Broken homes have become all too commonplace in this world.  Our movie characterized the struggles that broken families endure, as they struggle to make sense of the world and cling to the vestitutes of normalcy and decency and care of their loved ones.  How single fathers struggle to maintain relationships with their children, despite not living under the same roof?

Did you see the dog?  Everybody loves dogs.  Maybe you are a cat person.  Dog people are better.  You can train a dog to bring you beer.  We almost had Snow Sharks, but we didn't have snow.

Did you notice the star-studded cast?  Harrison Ford? Jim Carrey? Tina Fey? Me? Paul Rudd? Other people? Christine Applegate? Me? What more do you want?

Did you fail to notice the big action scene? It was at the end of the movie.  Lots of great action. AND hockey sticks.  Action is what it is all about.O

We said VAGINA in the movie.  We said it lots of times.  Do you even know what a vagina is? Look it up.  This is pretty groundbreaking.  We really pushed teh envelope, which is ironic, because a vagina is really kind of an envelope.  Vagina.  There, I said it again. Vagina, vagina, vagina.

Overlaid on top of all this was an accurate historical depiction of the creation of a 24 hour news channel. GNN was a pseudonym for CNN, the first 24 hour news channel (to be fair, not a lot of people got that).

To sum it up, we had stars, action, historical documentary, social commentary, dogs, hockey sticks and a big vagina scene. And we taught many restaurant owners how to substitute bats for chicken, helping them run a more profitable operation.

I don't even want to try to count the number of Oscar Academy Global Gold awards that this cinematic masterpiece is likely to garner.  Probably more if we had got Jennifer Garner.

This movie is already at the top of most people's lists and not just because it starts with the letter A.  It will go down in history with Ben Hur, Gone with the Wind, The Sound of Music, Beverly Hills Cop and Deep Throat as one of the finest movies ever to grace the silver screen.

There's one in every crowd, and looks like you are the one.  On the other hand, maybe you should watch it again - now that I explained it to you.

Wanna be Facebook friends?

Yours truly,

Ron Burgundy

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Milestone Birthdays

Celebrating Manon

Reading her customized album. A gift from Tammy and I.
This Saturday was about Manon Nancy Riddle. She was celebrated this weekend on July 12th.  Although my son Noah, to this day, can't  believe she is actually 50 years young, it is indeed true - Manon turned the big 5-0 officially on July 10th.  

The party was decorated and planned by her three close friends: Tammy Jutila; Ronda Losielle and myself with her daughter Andrea as the vehicle to communicate between Manon's hostesses, friends and her wishes. This was a trying event for Manon - the self proclaimed "Control Freak" (a trait that Manon's friends has come to know and accept). Manon was able to ride through the flurry of the party planning without incident.  I'm happy to report that her party went off on Saturday July 12th without a hitch.

Brownie Cake with Chocolate Cupcakes

Party favours.
 
Tammy Jutila, Manon Riddle, Ronda Losielle and Christine Vincent Van Belle



Manon and Andrea.

 
Ronda and Manon.


Patio 1

Say "Cheese!"

Patio 2

Old friends catching up.

New friends meeting.

Yummy!

Cheese board.


Yummy #2!

Happy Birthday Manon!

Birthday Poem

Happy 50th Birthday my dear Pitoune!
It’s time to celebrate and finally come out of your cocoon.
Now is the time to recognize your milestone with family and friends.
Enjoy and have fun on this July 2014 weekend.


The Fire Station asked to keep your candles down to a few.
Something tells me you wouldn’t mind a hot fireman rescue.
Noah can’t believe your cake needs fifty.
Some other cultures would think that’s rather nifty.


What can I tell you about my friend Manon,
She’s funny, clever, organized and always on the go.
The first to offer to be the night’s DD,
But just until 10 pm – and then she will flee.


You can find her on the track, you can find her in the gym.
Put you won’t find her in the lake, she doesn’t like to swim.
If you want to lie on Manon’s couch, you can do so by sitting up straight.
Just in case you mess up the pillows in her pristine estate.


Diamond, sapphires, emeralds and other sparkly things,
Manon has them ALL in heart shaped bling.
A committed pet owner is what Manon is known for.
That “f#c%ing beagle” can be heard shouted from her garage door.


Mother, wife, sister, daughter and close friend,
Daily you demonstrate your loyalty that is without end.
May all your wishes, dreams and good fortune come true,
For the next fifty years – plus two.